Last night, we decided to embrace the inevitable and move Tatum's crib into Trevor's room. The point of the endeavor was to free up Tatum's room for baby, and to do it now, rather than later so they'd have the hang of sharing by the time our family became a party of five. Last night went reasonably well. The whole experience was brand new, and while they talked for about 45 minutes, eventually they went to sleep.
I knew naptime would be another story. I knew it would be difficult. I knew the odds of them taking naps at the same time, in the same room were very much against me. Even so, I persisted. Call it blind ambition, call it stubbornness, call it stupidity. No matter what you call it, it was a big fat failure. And I mean failure of epic proportions.
If I'm being honest, I'll admit I was a huge part of the problem. I knew going into it that the process would require the patience of Job and the persistence of labor pains, but still I wasn't prepared. I prayed beforehand that God would give me the wisdom and discernment to know what to do and what not to do in order to encourage peaceful sleep. Still somehow, when the going got tough, any wisdom and discernment fell victim to impulsivity and reactive parenting. And so began a sort of ping-pong battle of the wills with my 2 and 3 year olds. And as strong as my will is (and it's strong- just ask my mother, father, brother, husband)... theirs was stronger.
I was shocked when at one point, my precious, lovely, barely-not-a-baby (ha!) girl popped her head up over her crib and said to her brother: "Trevor, I get up, and you get up... YOU'RE TURN!" That little toot knew exactly what she was doing. I can imagine the laughter in their little heads as they watched their mom return to the room time and again, laying them down, as if I was playing "Whac-A-Mole" at Chuck-E-Cheese.
I tried to separate them, moving Trevor into our room. He then became inconsolable and as Tatum listened to her brother's cries from the other room, she became more concerned about the welfare of her new found BFF than she did sleep. Fail. and Fail.
I pulled my best snake charmer skills out of my pocket and somehow managed to calm them both down enough to have another go at sleeping in their room. I was really optimistic this time. They were both extremely tired, calm... I rubbed backs, sang lullabies and gave sweet kisses. Even so, the minute I left the room, the game was on.
This is the precise moment I should have pulled the plug on the entire operation.
Even so, bull-headed, bleary eyed mommy persisted. See? Strong will... I told you. So this time, I decided I'd take no prisoners. I demanded they lay down, spanked bottoms, and took names. It turns out, yelling at your kids like a crazy person doesn't quite foster a soothing, peaceful, dreaming-on-fluffy-clouds-type environment. And it makes mommy feel like a total jerk.
In the end, I brought Trevor out of the room and left Tatum in her bed. He came downstairs to sit quietly... and you guessed it- Tatum fell asleep within 5 minutes of his departure. The tough part about it all, is the fact that we'll be right here, doing the same thing tomorrow. Let's hope we all learned something this go-round... at least I can be certain I did.
Patience always pays off. Coercion and power-plays fail. Just ask the Supernanny... or maybe Hitler. I'm certain both would agree. And I'm grateful for the grace of God and the forgiveness so readily given by He and my children. Without it, I'd be a goner for sure.
I knew naptime would be another story. I knew it would be difficult. I knew the odds of them taking naps at the same time, in the same room were very much against me. Even so, I persisted. Call it blind ambition, call it stubbornness, call it stupidity. No matter what you call it, it was a big fat failure. And I mean failure of epic proportions.
If I'm being honest, I'll admit I was a huge part of the problem. I knew going into it that the process would require the patience of Job and the persistence of labor pains, but still I wasn't prepared. I prayed beforehand that God would give me the wisdom and discernment to know what to do and what not to do in order to encourage peaceful sleep. Still somehow, when the going got tough, any wisdom and discernment fell victim to impulsivity and reactive parenting. And so began a sort of ping-pong battle of the wills with my 2 and 3 year olds. And as strong as my will is (and it's strong- just ask my mother, father, brother, husband)... theirs was stronger.
I was shocked when at one point, my precious, lovely, barely-not-a-baby (ha!) girl popped her head up over her crib and said to her brother: "Trevor, I get up, and you get up... YOU'RE TURN!" That little toot knew exactly what she was doing. I can imagine the laughter in their little heads as they watched their mom return to the room time and again, laying them down, as if I was playing "Whac-A-Mole" at Chuck-E-Cheese.
I tried to separate them, moving Trevor into our room. He then became inconsolable and as Tatum listened to her brother's cries from the other room, she became more concerned about the welfare of her new found BFF than she did sleep. Fail. and Fail.
I pulled my best snake charmer skills out of my pocket and somehow managed to calm them both down enough to have another go at sleeping in their room. I was really optimistic this time. They were both extremely tired, calm... I rubbed backs, sang lullabies and gave sweet kisses. Even so, the minute I left the room, the game was on.
This is the precise moment I should have pulled the plug on the entire operation.
Even so, bull-headed, bleary eyed mommy persisted. See? Strong will... I told you. So this time, I decided I'd take no prisoners. I demanded they lay down, spanked bottoms, and took names. It turns out, yelling at your kids like a crazy person doesn't quite foster a soothing, peaceful, dreaming-on-fluffy-clouds-type environment. And it makes mommy feel like a total jerk.
In the end, I brought Trevor out of the room and left Tatum in her bed. He came downstairs to sit quietly... and you guessed it- Tatum fell asleep within 5 minutes of his departure. The tough part about it all, is the fact that we'll be right here, doing the same thing tomorrow. Let's hope we all learned something this go-round... at least I can be certain I did.
Patience always pays off. Coercion and power-plays fail. Just ask the Supernanny... or maybe Hitler. I'm certain both would agree. And I'm grateful for the grace of God and the forgiveness so readily given by He and my children. Without it, I'd be a goner for sure.
3 comments:
I remember moving Ryder into a big bed (Full-Sized Mattress big bed) when he was 20-months old in preparation for Rustin coming. I put rails on the bed, but he could still get out. Nighttime was never a problem, he always went right to sleep. Nap-time was a different story. He got out of bed A LOT and then he would play and not nap which meant we had a BEAR on our hands. I started standing outside of his door with the monitor and every time he got out of bed I would walk into his room without saying a word and put him back in bed. I never spoke to him, never sat with him. It was a hard and long process, but we eventually got there. Now (2-years later) he still won't get out of bed for any reason. We have to go get him in the mornings...he calls for us, but won't get up. It was the best thing we ever did...but it wasn't easy. You'll soon forget how difficult it was...I had until I read about your trials with putting them together...but it brought it all back to me, lol!
Oh and to make you feel better...the walking in and not talking came on the second day. The first day I yelled at him from outside the door to get back in bed, I popped his little biscuits, I laid in the bed...the second day I took the no talking approach which in the end worked much better, and I felt much better too!
The fact that your kid will still nap is a blessing in itself. Prestley hasn't napped in probably a year. I still make her lay down or do a quite activity but unless she's just sick or extremely worn out, she's not about to sleep.
Post a Comment