OH brother. I'm in trouble.
It's a typical Wednesday night at our house. Nathan is off at Bible study and I'm flying solo at bedtime. Anyone with more than one child knows that when out-numbered by children, there is a logical "order of operations" to follow when it comes to accomplishing things like baths, and bedtime. In this house, regardless of who is most tired, the baby almost always goes to bed first. Mainly, it guarantees the little guy won't happen poke his pudgy finger into that lone uncovered electrical outlet while I'm busy tucking-in the others... as if he's ever actually done that?
ahem.
Anyway, so tonight our big kids were super tired. After about 2.2 seconds of silence, they were well into their first REM cycle. I closed their door, and as I walked past the baby's room, I heard that sweet baby boy, babbling away. I walked downstairs in the dark, ready to tackle the toys littering our living room and I heard that sweet baby babble again.
My heart cracked a little and I knew I was a goner. See, around here, sleep is a high priority. And sleep-training is no joke. Once a baby goes to bed for the night (barring some highly exceptional circumstance)-he is in bed for the night. Because trust me, we've learned the hard way... if they see you, they will never let you leave.
But tonight? Tonight was different. Tonight marks the end of my baby's first year. Tomorrow he'll usher in a whole new year filled with milestones, turning the first corner on his way from baby to little boy. This hasn't bothered me before. When Trevor hit the one-year mark, we were a matter of weeks away from welcoming his sister. And when it was his sister's turn, we'd already started talking about our next baby. This time? It feels much more like the end of an era.
So tonight, I walked into that babbling baby's room, picked him up and rocked, rocked, rocked him. He "talked" to me, played with my nose, and giggled at my whispers. I prayed for him, thanked God for him, and promised to stop waiting for the "last" of something to relish it's value.
I kissed him, whispered "night, night" and laid him back down. And tonight, I guess he must've known I needed the push- because he let me leave.
3 comments:
Crying a little. You paint a beautiful word picture and I am so glad you got that special moment with your little man.
This squeezed my heart & I'm typing with tears in my eyes...largely, because I totallllly relate with my little (hopefully) "last"I catch myself breaking my rules for the sake of cherishing baby moments too often (probably). But, I know how quickly it goes, and so I'm trying to enjoy them where they are...They are so precious & we are so blessed! I can't believe it's been a year! He's adorable & I hope y'all have a good week celebrating him!! ;)
Heather...I can remember doing the exact same thing the night before Rustin turned 1. He was already asleep and I pulled him out of his crib. I rocked and rocked all while kissing the back of his head and letting tears roll down my cheeks. I'm pretty sure Matt thought I was crazy, but I needed it. I absolutely understand how you were feeling last night. Happy Birthday, sweet Trey!
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