"social networking" and the kiddos?

Ok, I don't blog much... so when I do, it must be important right? (by my completely unbiased logic anyway :) )

[disclaimer: I'm kind of a nerd about computer stuff, so a lot of things that most people don't care about can bother me or be especially cool to me. So try and make it through my rambling as I actually have a point and question when all is said and done!]

[disclaimer 2: this is a rant about social networking and is meant in no way to be offensive to those that are into this stuff - my wife is one of them and I still love her to death :) ]

So I used to be on Myspace - which should also be known as invadeMyspace as messy and cluttered as their website is. I loved it when I would log off to see some half dressed girl on a webcam advertising "intimate dating" - intimate dating? Give me a freakin' break. The ads knew enough to put a girl in my ad and a guy in my wife's ad, so you'd think they could also notice that I was married since that was a part of my myspace profile in addition to my sexual preference. Anyway, I digress. I got on, found a lot of old friends, said hi once, and then just enjoyed the voyeurism into their lives with no actual personal connection. I got sick of myspace and left it (which was an ordeal itself for another blog). What a shocker - not a single person contacted me wondering where I had gone or how I was doing or anything - most of whom did have my email.

So I've recently discovered, thanks(?) to Heather (remember, I love her to death!), Facebook. What attracted me to Facebook was how clean it was - and much more Web 2.0 [nerd alert - think gmail vs old hotmail - things happen without reloading the entire webpage]. What's funny about facebook is that it seems that the "cooler" people use facebook vs myspace - I don't know, maybe myspace is just bigger so everybody uses it. No offense to any myspace'ers out there - I started there, and when I say "cool", I mean like stupid highschool "cool". Not really cool... anyways, you get my drift. I've found a lot of even older friends on facebook that weren't on myspace. Yet here I sit again, with the same problem as myspace (minus the half dressed webcam girl who wants to "intimately date" me). I got on, found a lot of old friends, and then just look at their profiles here and there. However, on facebook, nobody's actually said hi when we get connected (well, a couple have). When I found someone on myspace, there was almost always a couple messages back and forth to start. Maybe it's because facebook really is the "cooler" crowd, and just "too cool" for that type of thing... ? So I sit here with my facebook account, already bored with it, b/c I have no personal connection to anybody on there besides those already within my close circle. Which brings me to the last one...

Oh, quick note - don't even get me started on Twitter. I just discovered what this was recently, and all I have to say is you've got to be kidding me. "Right now I am typing an email for work..." "Right now I am looking at a social networking site instead of actually investing in someone's life or doing actual work during the day..." "Right now I'm going to the bathroom..." I mean, c'mon, really?

Ok sorry, that's out of my system...

Enter the blog - Heather started our blog after Trevor was born, and though I was at first against it, lumping it together with myspace et al, I see now that it is very different. The blog is not nearly as voyeuristic - it's more about venting and sharing with close friends and family, not about just seeing what weird stuff is going on in their lives. In Heather's (and a lot of her blog friends') situation, she has most definitely needed that as a first time mom. I can only do so much as her husband and a new dad, and only another first time mom can relate to some of the emotional stuff that comes along with that! [case in point: the first time we decided to let Trevor cry at night, I saw no reason not to go back to sleep, yet she wanted to watch him cry at 2 am - hello torture?] I have yet to see on myspace or facebook any sort of sharing of problems or the deeper communication that I've seen on the blog. Not that it doesn't happen, but I haven't seen it and I'm pretty confident it's not in the majority. Is this an endorsement for the blog? Not exactly... I'm still a fan of face to face or phone #1, email #2, etc. But the blog sure has "social networking" beat in my opinion.

So, who the heck cares about my opinions on this stuff? Not many, most likely. But my dilemma does have some relation to this blog. Our generation is the "tweener" generation when it comes to computers and the internet. Our parents are clueless about it, and our kids will know nothing besides it. We still use phones and email, and *gasp* social networking in person. I've decided that it is inevitable that Trevor and "Deuce" will have myspace or facebook or whatever accounts (by then it will be Myfacebookspacetwitterhotgmailyahoo). But I want them to see that the personal relationships facilitated by actually investing in another's life are the most important thing - not just seeing what they're doing every minute of the day. I want them to pick up the phone to call their friends to do stuff instead of using solely messaging or "poking" (facebook reference) or whatever. I want them to knock on the neighbor's door to play instead of shooting them an email. Albeit we'll probably be walking over with them in the world we live in today.

Obviously Trevor is only 8 months, and "Deuce" ain't even here yet. But every time I'm carrying Trevor and we walk past the computer, his eyes are fixated, and this dilemma creeps up in my thoughts again. How do we maintain that balance? How do we teach them that true relationships cannot only be facilitated through a keyboard? I want them to know that true friends invest in each others' lives, take time for each others' lives, and don't simply stay in touch via some website. Who knows, maybe it won't be as bad as I think...