This morning we had a scare with "Deuce." Basically, without offering up the nitty gritty details, I was certain I was miscarrying today... I mean certain. I made a frantic call to the doctor who set up a sonogram immediately. My friend Jenny came and watched (and even cleaned!) our house as Trevor slept peacefully upstairs. (I could write a whole other blog about how awesome our friends are.)
Nathan and I headed to the doctor for what we were certain would be terrible news. To our delight, the first words from the sonographer's mouth were "baby looks great!"... heartbeat was "great," baby measured "great," sack looked "great," cervix "great"... you get the idea. So, the source of the problem is a complete mystery- which isn't all that reassuring. (Note to self: "for reassurance, re-read previous sentence.") So, I was sent home with a new little black and white photo and orders to "take it easy" as much as one can while wrangling a bruiser of an 8 month old.
It's amazing how a person's entire belief system can be challenged so suddenly. I know God has a plan for me, and for "Deuce"... I know that even before I saw that little pink line that fateful day, God had begun "knitting together" this child. Even so, my first thought this morning after "Oh CRAP, not this" was "what did I do to cause this? Was it that Dr. Pepper I shouldn't have had? That prenatal vitamin I missed? My over-all inability to fully grasp that I'm pregnant?!...maybe I'm not appreciative enough?"... and the downward spiral continues.
Then, my rational self kicks in and reminds me- It does NOT work that way. When we miscarried before Trevor, I remember the well-meaning people who in an attempt to "encourage" us in our future attempts to become pregnant, talked about what a giant role a person's faith has in bringing about exclusively positive outcomes in our lives. To a grieving person... those "encouraging words" translated into "This wouldn't have happened if you'd had enough faith."
Truth is people... bad things happen to faithful people. Ever read the book of Job? The Truth, is that God works in ALL circumstances to bring glory to Himself... and ultimately, those circumstances work for the good of those who love Him. I am no great theologian and don't mean to create a great debate... I only bring this up because clearly, the "encouragement" we received back then still holds a place in the unhealthy recesses of my mind. Call it a pet-peeve. (Woah... am I blog-venting? This could be dangerous.)
ANYWAY, we are grateful to have a healthy "Deuce" and we are humbled yet again at how gracious our Father is to somehow see fit to bring a single child, let alone two children, into our lives. Having said that- our first blessing is now waiting for mommy to rescue him from his crib... love to all!
Nathan and I headed to the doctor for what we were certain would be terrible news. To our delight, the first words from the sonographer's mouth were "baby looks great!"... heartbeat was "great," baby measured "great," sack looked "great," cervix "great"... you get the idea. So, the source of the problem is a complete mystery- which isn't all that reassuring. (Note to self: "for reassurance, re-read previous sentence.") So, I was sent home with a new little black and white photo and orders to "take it easy" as much as one can while wrangling a bruiser of an 8 month old.
It's amazing how a person's entire belief system can be challenged so suddenly. I know God has a plan for me, and for "Deuce"... I know that even before I saw that little pink line that fateful day, God had begun "knitting together" this child. Even so, my first thought this morning after "Oh CRAP, not this" was "what did I do to cause this? Was it that Dr. Pepper I shouldn't have had? That prenatal vitamin I missed? My over-all inability to fully grasp that I'm pregnant?!...maybe I'm not appreciative enough?"... and the downward spiral continues.
Then, my rational self kicks in and reminds me- It does NOT work that way. When we miscarried before Trevor, I remember the well-meaning people who in an attempt to "encourage" us in our future attempts to become pregnant, talked about what a giant role a person's faith has in bringing about exclusively positive outcomes in our lives. To a grieving person... those "encouraging words" translated into "This wouldn't have happened if you'd had enough faith."
Truth is people... bad things happen to faithful people. Ever read the book of Job? The Truth, is that God works in ALL circumstances to bring glory to Himself... and ultimately, those circumstances work for the good of those who love Him. I am no great theologian and don't mean to create a great debate... I only bring this up because clearly, the "encouragement" we received back then still holds a place in the unhealthy recesses of my mind. Call it a pet-peeve. (Woah... am I blog-venting? This could be dangerous.)
ANYWAY, we are grateful to have a healthy "Deuce" and we are humbled yet again at how gracious our Father is to somehow see fit to bring a single child, let alone two children, into our lives. Having said that- our first blessing is now waiting for mommy to rescue him from his crib... love to all!
5 comments:
Sweet friend, I'm terribly sorry you had such a scary morning - but I'm so joyful that Deuce is doing well. And to the rest.... word, sister! ;o)
But I think we've had this convo before...
Heather! I'm so sorry. We're super close to you so if you ever need anything we would be more than happy to help you! Take it easy - put your feet up...ah, don't you wish? Abby's not even mobile and I haven't put my feet up in over three months. I am praying for you and the Deuce!
Meredith
Heather Dawn,
I'm so thankful that everything is okay. Thank you for being so open about something so personal. It ministers to me to read your words and hear your story.
Enjoy Trevor this weekend!! Is a trip to the pool on the schedule? I hope so!
P.S. I found a HILLARIOUS picture of us this week, and when I get the chance to scan it I'll send it your way! You'll laugh!
Wow!! You scared me for a second there. She is showing you s/he is already a strong one. Keeping you in my prayers and yes FRIENDS are awesome!!!!
Slow down mama~
AMEN sister!!!! I'm really glad everything is ok. GOD IS GOOD! We should really get together for a play date soon, that is if you don't mind a baby with a little bit of attitude. I've got my hands full with her.
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