I felt the need to elaborate on a story from the zoo this past weekend. My beautiful wife just blew through this like it was a "cute" incident, as only a mother could do. I , however, believe we have reason to be concerned about this "cute" attack that transpired, and feel it necessary (as responsible citizens) to warn others about potential danger to their children. You will notice these are the same pictures, but now you will hear the true story behind what happened.
It all started as an innocent break in the action as we rested our legs for a few minutes, watching innocent by-standers stroll on by. As you will see in this first picture, at first glance it appears as a sweet mother-son moment, sharing a warm embrace.
But the trained eye will notice something else - take a look at that neck. I would consider that much more of a death grip than a warm embrace, like a predator about to attack it's prey. Little did we know that was foreshadowing the violence that was about to ensue.
Then, out of nowhere, this "predator" falls back, positions himself for attack, and lets out an ear piercing roar like a lion...
Mommy, a.k.a. "the prey", still appears unmoved by the threat, dismissing it as playful banter.
However, she soon realizes the severity of the situation as this predator lunges forward in full attack mode...
A near miss with the nose, but he is not done yet... mommy's face indicates she finally is beginning to see, this is no mere baby...
The attack continues, as this predator is clearly going for blood -
Yet the prey almost seems to embrace this, even though the predator is clearly going for the jugular! Oh is there no end to a mother's love??
Laughing? How can this be? Is this some sort of twisted strategy by the prey? Or is she just truly twisted into thinking she is safe around this savage beast!
Yet, as quickly as it began, it ended... the prey fended off the predator. Maybe the seemingly "twisted" strategy worked, maybe not. Maybe the predator simply realized he was no match for unconditional love.
And what's this, a truce? How can it be?
But is it really a truce? Once again, notice the grip on the neck... mother/prey beware! This "sweet" baby is simply a cover up for something much more dangerous...
And as if I needed to prove my case any more, I found this picture in said baby's wallet:
Practically identical... There is a reason this baby is 20+ pounds at just under 6 months old.
And that is what really happened at the zoo, and now the public knows of this danger. As Bill Cosby said, babies are simply false advertising!
And all I have to say is.... That's my boy!
(Cue Heather rolling her eyes, while hopefully laughing :) )
It all started as an innocent break in the action as we rested our legs for a few minutes, watching innocent by-standers stroll on by. As you will see in this first picture, at first glance it appears as a sweet mother-son moment, sharing a warm embrace.
But the trained eye will notice something else - take a look at that neck. I would consider that much more of a death grip than a warm embrace, like a predator about to attack it's prey. Little did we know that was foreshadowing the violence that was about to ensue.
Then, out of nowhere, this "predator" falls back, positions himself for attack, and lets out an ear piercing roar like a lion...
Mommy, a.k.a. "the prey", still appears unmoved by the threat, dismissing it as playful banter.
However, she soon realizes the severity of the situation as this predator lunges forward in full attack mode...
A near miss with the nose, but he is not done yet... mommy's face indicates she finally is beginning to see, this is no mere baby...
The attack continues, as this predator is clearly going for blood -
Yet the prey almost seems to embrace this, even though the predator is clearly going for the jugular! Oh is there no end to a mother's love??
Laughing? How can this be? Is this some sort of twisted strategy by the prey? Or is she just truly twisted into thinking she is safe around this savage beast!
Yet, as quickly as it began, it ended... the prey fended off the predator. Maybe the seemingly "twisted" strategy worked, maybe not. Maybe the predator simply realized he was no match for unconditional love.
And what's this, a truce? How can it be?
But is it really a truce? Once again, notice the grip on the neck... mother/prey beware! This "sweet" baby is simply a cover up for something much more dangerous...
And as if I needed to prove my case any more, I found this picture in said baby's wallet:
Practically identical... There is a reason this baby is 20+ pounds at just under 6 months old.
And that is what really happened at the zoo, and now the public knows of this danger. As Bill Cosby said, babies are simply false advertising!
And all I have to say is.... That's my boy!
(Cue Heather rolling her eyes, while hopefully laughing :) )
2 comments:
Yes...rolling my eyes. At least Nathan finally posted something! ;-)
Hilarious! No worries - our little "E" is known for his "love bites" that we are working through right now. He thinks it is funny but with those teeth - not so much....
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